New Friends and Memories Made During a Maine Remembrance Retreat

My Maine Remembrance Retreat experience opened me to old and new memories as I strengthened friendships and forged new ones. Mostly I remembered my truest passions, as new concepts and ideas for the future began brewing in my mind. 

Figure 1. Santosha at Hillholm Estate Yoga Retreat Venue.

I’ve been a member of Allie Van Fossen’s Online Body Mind Soul Yoga Studio for over 6 years and had never did a face-to-face retreat with her; so, when she announced her Remembrance Retreat in Maine for September 2025, I registered immediately. As a bonus, Mark and I camped on the way there to see the northeast fall colors and explore National Parks, Niagara Falls, the Adirondacks, and other locations (See BLOG). 

Mark dropped me off at the retreat venue and drove back to his campsite in New Hampshire planning to ride his motorcycle while I was gone. I checked into my room at Santosha at Hillholm Estate on Thursday, September 25th about 3 p.m. I had a private room corner room on the ground level with the view of the backyard, hot tub, sauna, and fire table area. I had my own bathroom and a cute little wooden log desk for writing. 

Figure 2. My room at Santosha.

After settling in and unpacking, I went to the common room, got a cup of tea, and talked to a few people. It always takes me a while to feel comfortable with others when I start a retreat and it felt good to begin. Allie and the rest of the airport group arrived a short time later and then it started to really feel like a retreat. As I introduced myself, many remembered me as the “plant person” from our Facebook Group. I started to wonder if I focus too much on plants and need to expand more, so I tried not to focus on plants at first; but, as you’ll soon read, that didn’t last long. 

Figure 3. Common Room.

It was a slow-paced retreat with the same schedule every day. We ate four meals a day, giving us ample time around tables to visit with new and old friends. All the meals were buffet style, but they had our names on special foods. I always had a separate vegan plate. There was a pranayama and journaling session every morning, followed by continental breakfast. Late morning we did asana yoga, then ate brunch. At noon each day we went for a hike, then had a light lunch. We had free time in the afternoons, which was also when we worked on our mala bead necklace craft projects. Evening yoga ended with supper and more free time. The schedule flowed nicely and gave me lots of time for self-reflection. 

Figure 4. Dining room at Santosha.

Opening Circle

The first evening’s opening circle helped solidify the purpose of the Remembrance Retreat. I said on my turn that I wanted to remember my past and how it helps mold me into a future me. Allie discussed the Yoga Sutras 1.2 and 1.3 that we would study deeply over the next few days. It was fun to listen to each yogis plan for the retreat. After supper, we sat around in the common room getting to know each other. 

Morning Pranayama and Journaling

Each morning Allie led us in a series of pranayama breathing exercises that ended with time for journaling. 

Figure 5. Yoga Studio.

Here is what I wrote after day one’s pranayama. Calm. That was my word for 2025. I feel calm after the opening pranayama. I feel balanced and ready to participate in this retreat. Let it flow and be me. Calm is a wonderful feeling. It happens when I'm connected to the trees and plants around me. I feel it in the room’s wood planks that surround me, and in the incense in the air. I saw a doe and fawn outside the window this morning. They were calm yet attentive. I can do that too. Be attentive to what my true self needs. I don't have to talk a lot or do anything at all, if I don't want to. Don't force it. Use my golden egg to stay present. I liked Allie’s visualization of our spine as straight and present, not bent to the past or to the future, but present in the now.

After day two’s pranayama. I have no words today. They are scrambled in my head. I need to root and connect. I'm enjoying community and being face to face with community members. It is part of the learning process. I am doing it. I'm trying so hard to create or inspire and be more. Just be. Relax. Find calm and the clarity will come. I've resisted plants at first, trying to find something else, but they are my soul. Plants nourish me body, mind, and soul. I need to quit resisting and let them guide and soothe me. I'm a plant in human form. I'm a combination of plants. I've studied and observed and loved plants from all over the world. They call to me and want to be witnessed and loved. I need to find more. I need to revisit old plant friends and find new ones. I want to show others how to know the plants more personally. I need to combine yoga and plants to help others learn more. Start small and build my yoga plant world. The plants want me to do this. I want to do this. I get teary thinking about it. Thank you, plants. 

Day three. Do I check into the outside world before myself in the mornings? I’m not sure I do, but I should. I should wake up to feel, listen, and touch the earth's vibes of peace and positivity. Don't think about myself. Let the usual morning aches and daily pressures remind me to go outside myself with gratitude for Mother Nature and my tribes. I need to send my love out to them and only after all that should I go back inside to focus on me and my day. Or, wouldn't it be great to stay open and free all day? It sounds lovely. It sounds like calm contentment. Reminders of who I am and my true self. This is a Remembrance Retreat, and I am starting to remember to go outside. I've focused on me a long time and I will still do that but I when I leave here, I will also remember nature and my tribes. 

Asana Yoga

Asana yoga felt great each day as we flowed through vinyasas and rested in shavasana. Each asana class began with a lesson that was reinforced through the various poses. 

Allie started day one’s asana yoga with lessons about Yoga Sutra 1.2: yogas citta vritti nirodhah. It tells us that yoga helps cease the fluctuations of the mind, allowing us to achieve our true nature. She taught us to think of ourselves as the sky and our thoughts as clouds and weather. The thoughts are there, but as we observe them, we can watch them move away like clouds, thus clearing our mind.

The next day she covered Yoga Sutra 1.3: tadā drashtuh svarūpe 'vasthānamam. It says that after calming our mind in 1.2, our truth self-abides. 

During one shavasana I saw my inner mentor’s eye clearly. It was blue. My eyes are brown, but I've always wanted blue eyes. No, my eyes won't change color, but I felt like my grandmothers, whom had blue eyes, were within me to guide me along to my true self. 

Daily Group Walks

Each day at noon we walked for about a mile out and back. The first two days we talked on the way out, then were silent on the walk back. 

On day one it was quite muddy in places due to the recent rains. There were many invasive plants like autumn olive, barberry, black swallow wart, and bittersweet. There were also gorgeous native plants in their autumn color splendor. I noticed many green and white ash, which was great since the Emerald Ash Borer has killed most ash trees in other locations. There were mostly sugar and silver maples, but also red oak, popular, and pine. I saw cedar and hemlock. Red bright berries stood out on a cranberry bush viburnum. Yellow leaves covered the cherry, white and yellow birch trees. I spotted a few dogwood shrubs. The tree understory had many yellowing ferns, including sensitive, bracken, and oak. I wanted to stop and examine them. I saw asters, Jack-in-the-pulpit berries, and small blueberry plants. 

Figure 6. Asters and ferns along the hike. 

On day two I opened up a little about my yoga plants idea during our walk and everyone seemed to love the concept. I enjoyed that walk even more. There were less people, and we were all opening up more. We went further and there were more gorgeous fall views. 

Figure 7. Walking in Maine's fall colors.

On day three, the walk was entirely silent and a bit longer. On the first half I stopped to pick up fallen leaves - all different types from trees. As a walked I heard leaves rustle above, watched them spiral down to the ground (which is a great metaphor for letting go), heard birds rustle and sing, saw various bark types, and mostly I sauntered calmly and contently. When I got back, I arranged the leaves for a photo and then labeled them on my computer. 

Figure 8. Leaf collection from my hike.

Evening Yoga

The first evening Allie led us in a yoga nidra session, which is always relaxing. Afterwards we went around the room to share what we remembered most about our day. I said the walking was special to me, first with the group and later alone. Walking alone, I remembered that I could live fully in a moment and let thoughts go. I remembered to witness thoughts, look at the clouds, and watch the thoughts float way. Darker thoughts were darker clouds. It got easier each time, and I found that I remembered quicker to move on to the next thought. 

The second evening we did restorative yoga with only three poses. The first pose we held for 20 minutes without guidance. Holding a pose for that long really helped me relax further and fully feel the muscles release into the position. It felt good. That, combined with my relaxing massage I had that day, made for total release and contentment.

One evening, the venue’s owner did a sound healing session for us. She started the session talking about contentment. Her definition for Santosha was “settled contentment without striving.” She talked about happy emotions as being fleeting or a result of something happening. On the other day, contentment is deeper and longer lasting. The sound healing didn't give me any revelations. It was chaotic at times and did bring up fear and scary things like ghosts and cat’s eyes and skeletons, but mostly I saw swirling ether and lights and felt relaxed. I think the session mostly confirmed that I could recognize my fears and let them go. Release and be content. I felt content after a great day with many fun and happy moments with new friends. 

Figure 9. Sound bowls in yoga studio.

The last night we used our new mala necklaces to do a walking and sitting meditation. It was beautiful! As we traced each bead on the necklace with our fingers, we chanted to ourselves, “May I be calm and content. May I be peaceful and at ease.” We walked barefoot outside on the grass in a big circle where we grounded to the earth, sky, plants, rocks, and to each other. I felt the retreat’s peace crash over me, like the autumn leaves falling all around us, as we fell into contentment as a community.

Free Time

In between the formal sessions and meals, I spent my free time reading, writing, walking, and enjoying small town Maine. 

I often pick a new book or essay to read while on retreat. For this one I chose, Henry David Thoreau’s essay “Walking” to read throughout the weekend. It reminded me to saunter on my walks to “get out of my senses” and not think “of something out of the woods.” He talked about being most alive in the wilds and that “all good things are wild and free.” 

Walking, or sauntering, was a big part of the weekend activities. I went for a walk to town. At first, I went in the wrong direction, then walked to the other end of town and found a grocery store to get a few supplies. I also took a short solo walk around the backyard and communed with the plants. They seemed happy there and at peace. It was during this walk that ideas began to flow for my new yoga plants project. Stay tuned as it develops over the next several months. 

I worked on my mala necklace craft project several days. I started in my room and then went to the common room to craft with the others. That was great fun. I love my necklace. It is a great memory piece for the retreat.

Figure 10. Crafting my mala bead necklace.

I sat alone on the front porch and journaled with lilac, Joe Pye weed, phlox, rose hips, asters, primrose, and milkweed around me. We sat often in the common room or outside at fire tables talking with others. All the yogis in attendance were so like-minded. We were like beads on the mala necklace strung together with a common thread.

Everyone had an hour massage during the retreat. Mine was awesome. It also included some Reiki and sound energy. 

Figure 11. Massage Hut.

Final Thoughts

The retreat was a chance to slow down, connect with community and nature, and learn more about myself. Other retreats helped me face fears of adventure. This one helped me find tools to face internal fears, negativity, and mind chatter to live a calm and content life. I felt calmer. I felt content. I felt strong and soft and balanced. I felt inspired to pursue my dream of combining yoga and plants and helping others also experience yoga's holistic magic while personally connecting with the plant world around them. I remembered that I am a plant person that loves crafts. I remembered to saunter, instead of just walk a trail, and to slow down and listen. I remembered that I am social, that I love yoga, and that have much more to learn. 

Figure 12. Group picture after a hike.

Allie asked us to write and share a statement for our closing session. Here's what I wrote. As Maine’s autumn leaves gently rained from the trees, I slowed down to remember my true self. It truly was a Remembrance Retreat. 

Photos by Rhonda Ferree and various attendees. 

Joshua Tree Yoga Retreat... 2024 Fall Journey Part 1

The main purpose of our 2024 fall journey was a yoga retreat at Joshua Tree National Park with Bigger Life Adventures. It was my fourth retreat with them, Mark’s first, and having Mark join me for it was special. We signed up right after we purchased our new camper van in the spring. The van fit into the retreat’s camping format well and we were both intrigued by the rock-climbing adventure portion.

Astrid and Rhonda's Joshua Tree Poses at Joshua Tree National Park.

 Photo by Carrie. 

We left our home on Sunday, October 13, 2024, several days before the retreat began. As retirees, we like to travel slow and find adventures along the way. This time we drove two long days, staying one night in El Dorado State Park’s Oak campground near Wichita, Kansas and another night in New Mexico at Santa Rosa Lake’s Rocky Point Campground. Both locations had ample space, but navigating their reservation systems was challenging. One had a self-pay kiosk and another an online system. I had to climb our van’s ladder to get enough signal to complete the Santa Rosa reservation. Mark laughed at me for that. 

Experiencing Sedona’s Vortex Energy

We traveled harder those two days so that we could spend some time in Sedona, Arizona before the retreat in California. We didn’t have a reservation in Sedona so took a gamble at the first-come, first-served sites at the Forest Service’s Pine Flat Campground. Luck was on our side, and we got there just in time to secure one of the last spots. We stayed there two nights and enjoyed it very much. 

The first night (Wednesday, October 16, 2024) we sat under the van’s awning during a short rain shower, then made pizza on the campfire. It was so nice to have a campfire again for warmth and ambiance. Many places had a fire ban but in the valley along Oak Creek, we were allowed fires in the campground.

Since we stayed two nights, we had a whole day to leisurely explore the area. We got up early, had coffee and oatmeal, then drove down scenic Highway 89A as the sun came up, spotlighting the cliffs all around us. It was such a pretty drive. Sedona is a fancy, touristy town. We drove through it to the Bell Rock Trailhead and got the last open parking spot. We had to remove the Yakima storage box at the end of our van and place it on the ground in the front of the van to fit into the parking space.

We hiked up to Bell Rock, then to the right around its base, climbing midway up and along a ridge. At one area a lady came through and said it was scary but doable, though it was her first hike. We scrambled over and through to the other side, then around and over to a flat rock area in the shade. There we sat to reflect silently and soak in the vortex energy that is found there. 

Figure 1. Bell Rock in Sedona, Arizona.

Sedona has many vortexes, which are thought to be swirling centers of Earth’s energy conducive to healing, meditation, and self-reflection. Many people feel inspired and alive with energy after visiting a vortex site. I closed my eyes and soaked up the vortex’s energy. It was subtle but I felt slight tingles in my hands and neck. As I let go, I felt my inner child and inner mentor (older self) merge into the present moment. They were both with me there in that magical setting and I felt at peace, calm, and happy.

The next vortex was at the airport. There was ample parking there for a $3 fee and a lookout area across the street. We hiked from the lookout area down to the Airport Mesa vortex. About halfway there I felt the vortex as my hands and neck slightly tingled. We climbed on top of the mesa and sat a long time. On the less windy side I felt such calm energy. I think the Airport Mesa vortex was more yin-like than the Bell Rocks yang-like energy. To me they felt different. 

Figure 2. View from the Airport Mesa in Sedona, Arizona.

Back at camp we walked across the highway to the other campground. We were on the first come-first served side and the campsites across the road by the creek were all reservable. We walked along the rocky creek a bit. It didn’t have much water, but we did see a small fish and a wren bird. 

Joshua Tree Yoga Retreat Arrival

The next morning, we drove from Sedona to our Joshua Tree Yoga Retreat, arriving on Thursday, October 18 about 3:00 p.m. Carrie met us, and we parked our van. The camping area was along a sandy road with lots of little desert plants spread out down a long, narrow area. Beside us was a rocky hill where a few guest’s tents were pitched. Beyond that was a large boulder hillside which led into the national park.  

Figure 3. Joshua Tree Yoga Retreat Campground.

We leveled the van and unpacked a little then went to meet old and new friends.  It was a Costa Rica Retreat reunion of sorts, since six of us had been there too in February. At 4:00 p.m. we had an open circle to introduce ourselves and orient to the place and retreat schedule. I said my intention for this retreat was to “Live in each moment,” and I feel like I did that. After circle, we had yoga for about an hour in a circular open area in the sand. I enjoyed it and found parts were challenging, probably from the unlevel sandy surface and tightness from driving and hiking in Sedona. After yoga we had supper. Zach made pumpkin curry over rice, which was very tasty and filling.

Later Carrie and Zach’s assistant Astrid lit a campfire, and we all sat around and talked until about 10:00 p.m. Zach brought out smore ingredients with vegan marshmallows, Lindt chocolate, and graham crackers. Mark made one and I had a bite. Astrid had us play a game of highs and lows. We each said our high and low for that day. I said my low was camper maintenance at Loves where we had our propane filled and did the typical dumps and fills. The high was when I came out of our camper for supper and turned around at the food tent to see the bright, splendid, full moon rising over our van and the hills in the distance. The moon was so bright that we didn't need lights to get around after dark. The stars were not as brilliant, but oh that moon! It was a fun evening around a blazing fire with new and old friends. A perfect start to our retreat.

Figure 4. Full moon over our camper van at Joshua Tree Yoga Retreat.

We slept well in our comfortable van, running the heater a little in the cool, desert night. We got up about 6:00 a.m. and made coffee in our van. I climbed the rocky hill beside us for the morning sunrise meditation at 6:45 a.m. It was only Carrie and me for most of it until another guest joined us later. It was a very cool morning so I'm sure most people stayed in their warm tents until breakfast. Zach made oatmeal with apples and nut butter for breakfast. He also made us all a sack lunch of tofu po’boys and fruit, which was very tasty at noon when we were rock climbing.

Facing Fears to Climb Rocks at Joshua Tree National Park

We waited an extra hour before going to the park to rock climb since it was so cold and windy that day. Our professional climbing guide Amylee and her daughter went ahead to set up some ropes. She had one set above and scrambled up to set another one once we got there. We walked about 10 minutes through the Real Hidden Valley of Joshua Tree National Park to an area called Thin Wall. It is a rock formation that is narrow yet tall to climb and easier for the guides to scramble at the end to set anchors and ropes from above. At the bottom Carrie and Astrid showed us how to attach the rope to our climbing harness. Amylee provided us all with a harness, shoes, and helmet.

Clark* was the first to climb and he made it look so easy, climbing all the way to the top then repelling back down. Mark went second. He made it up the first tier then decided the sheer cliff second tier portion was more than he wanted to tackle at that time. 

Figure 5. Mark Rock Climbing! Photo by Carrie.

I went next and climbed a body length higher than Mark but not all the way. It was harder than I expected and scarier at first. Coming down is my favorite part when you sit in the harness and hop down while the belayer below slacks the rope. 

After a lunch break and watching the others climb, I tried the other rope that they said was easier. It was easier but I also trusted my equipment better that time. I climbed three quarters of the sheer cliff portion and probably could have went the whole way. I was happy with that. At one point as I rested in my harness, I looked behind me and yelled, “Wow! Look at that view!” They all laughed. I loved that. I went a little higher after that then rappelled back down, satisfied with my climb. Such a fun time. As RUSH’s Neil Peart said in his book Travelling Show that we listened to on this trip, “Fear plus survival equals fun.” He is so right!

Figure 6. Rhonda looking at view behind her while rock climbing.

Retreat Yoga, Food, and Fun

We did yoga most mornings and evenings during the retreat. Carrie (and Astrid one morning) led us in energizing morning sessions to start our day. Evening sessions were long yin holds that felt good to stretch out sore muscles from that day’s climbing or hiking.

Figure 7. Morning yoga at Joshua Tree Camp. Photo by Astrid.

People sometimes say that they go on Bigger Life Adventure retreats for Carrie’s yoga and return for Zach’s vegan food. To me they are equally excellent reasons to do their retreats. Zach’s food never disappoints and always surprises me. I couldn’t wait for Mark to try it, and he too was impressed. He especially liked the taco night. We had a supper of mushroom spaghetti one night and Tempe with cranberry sauce, beans, kale, and fruit another. Though hard to choose, my favorite this time was a breakfast of avocado toast and tofu scramble using black salt, a form of Himalayan pink salt with sulfur added that gave it an egg taste. Zach just published a new cookbook, Plants on Plates, and he brought me my preordered, signed copy. We can’t wait to try some of his recipes, though I’m not sure we will make them as well as him. 

Figure 8. Zach's new cookbook is available at Bigger Life Adventures. Photo by Astrid. 

Each night we had fun around a roaring campfire and laughed hard. Friday night Zach had his guitar, so I played and sang two Kris Kristofferson songs and Zach played fun songs. The girls were so fun and crazy. It was such a great group. The last night someone suggested we play a story game where we each said one word as we went around to build a story. It was fun and got weirdly crazy. We laughed and laughed, which felt good. 

Figure 9. Laughing around the campfire. Photo by Astrid. 

Bigger Life Adventures always include some free time. On our free day, Mark and I drove our van into Joshua Tree National Park from the west entrance by our campground all the way to the Cottonwood entrance. It’s a long drive. At the end, we hiked to the Cottonwood Spring and on the Mastodon Peak Trail. Both were perfect with just enough challenge on a warm day. The spring had an oasis of fan palms and cottonwood trees, which are such a contrast to the dry desert plants all around. Birds flew in and out of the palms and sang.

Figure 10. Cottonwood Spring Oasis at Joshua Tree National Park.

The Mastodon trail was a two-mile loop through big boulders, up and down small sandy hills, across desert scrub, and up to Mastodon Peak. At the peak area we had to scramble up boulders for an amazing, though windy, 360° view of the area. Far below we could see the Salton Sea. It was a bit scary to scramble near the top, but Mark persevered, and I followed. I'm so glad we did. It was a great view and a place to rest before coming back down and hiking back to the van. 

Figure 11. Windy selfie from Mastodon Peak at Joshua Tree National Park.

Along the way back, there was another oasis with fan palms, cottonwood, and some eucalyptus trees along a dry riverbed. At the van, we ate chickpea salad wraps that Zach made us for lunch. Back at the west entrance there was a long line to show our passes to exit. Mark somehow dropped our National Park Pass out the window and had to get out and climb under the van on the ground to find it. I laughed till I cried. As we sat in line, he was upset that they made him wait to leave, then he held everyone else up behind us. Another fun moment on this trip.

Sunday was our Sound Bath Day. Before our session, Mark and I spent a few hours in town. We went to a few artsy stores, the World Famous Crochet Museum, and walked around. At the Sole Connection store, the owner Dawn asked us where we were from and her eyes lit up when I said Havana, Illinois. She is best friends with one of our best friends. That was so fun. The sound bath was in a special, unique place called the Integratron. It is an amazing place built for perfect acoustics in a comfortable setting. We laid on soft mats and a lady played quartz crystal singing bowls for almost an hour. They were loud and their vibrations filled us with waves of peace and relaxation. I'm sure I dozed off a few times. I didn't have any revelations during the session, though I sure was relaxed afterwards. 

Figure 12. Integratron. Photo by Astrid. 

From there we drove to a nearby giant rock said to be the largest freestanding rock in the world at four stories tall. It was a long three-mile, sandy dirt road to get there and I freaked out a bit, losing all my sound bath zen along the way. Still, it was neat to see. 

Figure 13. Mark "holding up" the Giant Rock.

Magical Moments During Yoga Retreat

During the retreat, Carrie led us in a mantra building exercise. My mantra was “Adventures in nature fuel my soul.” That came true many times. During one morning yoga session, Carrie led us in stretches and through an energetic flow. We ended with the Wim Hof Method breath technique that we repeated three times. The third time I remembered that when we did that same technique in Costa Rica, I saw myself dancing in a flower field with my inner mentor that I call White Clover. This time my inner child joined my inner mentor, and I saw lots of Rhonda’s of various ages dancing in the flowers. What fun! During the breath work I inhaled fun, exhaled fear, and ended up dancing in a field of flowers. 

The morning sunrise meditations were equally magical. I loved sitting high on the rocks and watching as the landscape around me woke up with the rising sun. It was so quiet, and I heard the wings of a bird fly past me. I felt renewed each morning as the sun rose, cleansed, and woke up the world. The plants soaked up the rays and released calming vibes and cleansing life oxygen. I loved sharing their world. The desert plants have such diversity and colors there. It is so very different from tropical settings or our own back yard, yet in some ways it was more peaceful. The desert plants were spread out and seemed to coexist, helping each other in the harsh environment. Yes, they had sharp spines, but those helped them conserve water as modified leaves and stems. Each plant’s texture, shape, and size stood out across the landscape in unique and special ways.

Figure 14. Rhonda's morning meditation at Joshua Tree National Park. Photo by Lisa. 

Our retreat closed with an evening Cacao Ceremony and a morning closing circle. After Sunday’s supper we moved to the fire and had our Cacao Ceremony. Zach served us a homemade chocolate drink made of Zimbabwe cacao and talked about its importance and symbolism. Astrid led us in some dancing around the fire that felt free and fun. We had a lot more laughs that night. 

After yoga the next morning, we had our closing circle where we revealed our secret missions, any takeaways, and everyone gave one word to describe each person. They described me as fun, wise, knowledgeable and such as that, which always makes me feel good. They said Mark was brave, interesting, and fun. On the first day, Carrie gave us each a secret mission to fulfill during the retreat. Mark gave Clark a copy of my book Botanical Journeys to fulfill his secret mission of giving someone a gift. I signed it, which completed my secret mission to give someone a note of encouragement. Mark said Clark was very moved by the gift and we hope it inspires him to do more adventures of his own. He later did a card trick with us and taught us how to do it, completing his secret mission to teach somebody something new. Afterwards, Zach made sweet potato pancakes for breakfast with some oatmeal and fruit. We all packed and said our goodbyes. I gave Astrid a yoga mat and bottle holder I crocheted. I also gave Carrie and Zach a copy of my book.  

As we left Joshua Tree, I was high on the positive vibes and love from all my adventures with friends in a magical place. I felt like I really relaxed and settled into the space, retreat, and people this time. On the last day, a song played during our pranayama that mentioned our past, present, and future selves reminding me of the Rhonda's dancing in the flowers. It also said that friends come and go, and new ones are waiting for us. That was comforting and so true. I've made great new friends on these retreats and that is a big reason why I do them. I say I do them for the yoga and self-reflection, but each time it is the people that fuel my soul and assure I have a Bigger Life Adventure.

Figure 15. Rhonda and Mark relaxing in Joshua Tree National Park as they watch friends climb Thin Wall. Photo by Astrid. 

Note: Check out Bigger Life Adventure upcoming retreats on their website and social media sites. Retreats fill quickly so reserve your space today. 

*Some names omitted or changed to protect privacy. 

A Morning Dance with the Fu Dogs

A deer.

Glowing Fu Dogs.

Wet grass.

Golden hickories.

Cool Air. 

Nature's vibrations are strong here. There is a magic within this garden. It comes from deep in the woods and washes over those who enter. This morning, we are all one in this place. Time stands still and a fantasy world emerges. We are cloaked inside a golden bubble of peace and joy. All of sudden, we are friends in a blissful moment as the blue fu dogs come alive and start to frolic on the lawn. They play with the deer and invite more woodland animals to join them. I dance with the animals as nature's chorus builds to greet our day. Morning in the woods is fun. 

Note: I wrote this during a Writing Retreat at Allerton Park on October 2023. 

Connecting in Costa Rica

I wanted to connect with a tree in Costa Rica and feel closer to the plant world than ever before, but as my plane landed in San Jose, I had doubts about why I was traveling alone to a foreign country to spend time with mostly strangers, and face unknowns that usually cause me anxiety. Yet, everything worked perfectly. I found my driver and the three-hour drive to Finca Camino Nuevo was intoxicatingly beautiful through hills of green and mountain clouds. The closer we got, the more winding and hillier it got – and greener. I had my doubts again the first night at dinner when my introverted inner critic got the best of me. Yet, I did my best to meet everyone and do the initial get-to-know-you talk. Really, a retreat should be hard, and this is the hard part for me. Yet, by the end, it’s the people that provide the best memories. Everyone in this group was amazing and fun, without any drama or difficulties – just a fun group of playful friends. We were a diverse group, spanning all life stages and cultures, yet we connected in this magical place.

 

Figure 1. Attendees at 2024 Doors to the Wild Self: Costa Rica Cloud Forest Retreat with Bigger Life Adventures. Photo by Morgan Neufeld Photography.

At our opening ceremony I shared my intention to “connect spiritually to nature.” The yoga room contained many decorated doors and since the theme of this yoga retreat was “Doors to the Wild Self” we each picked a door that spoke to us. I was the last to arrive, arriving late due to a flight change, and didn’t have time to really examine the doors, so I chose the first one that looked like a tree. It was smaller than the rest and made of wood, representing a tree of life rooted in a jaguar, intertwined with a snake DNA, ending in owl filled branches reaching toward the moon/sun. 

Connecting to Trees and Other Plants

At first, I focused on the trees to find my spiritual connection to nature. Individual trees atop a faraway ridge provided a Drishti point that kept me balanced during morning yoga. 

Journal Entry - Monday, February 19, 2024, 10:30 a.m. Those trees helped me hold all the balancing poses without falling, including tree and warrior three. Carrie started us out slow with many holds and stretches to move our spine in all directions. We flowed a few times and then she invited us to try crow pose. I did it! It wasn’t perfect but I did get both feet off the ground for a few seconds. That was exciting. We ended the long session in supported bridge and savasana. I was so proud of myself. I even did some jump throughs from downward dog to forward fold. I really am improving and getting stronger, although I’m mostly more confident.

I connected spiritually to a tree during the first morning’s meditation. Carrie led us through various meditation techniques each morning.

Monday, February 19, 2024, 10:30 a.m. Though I had trouble calming my racing mind at first, I soon settled in and felt more tree-like. As I started to ground to this place, I felt my body and mind relax and my soul come alive – ready for a blissful week. A breeze blew around me through the open door, and I almost felt like a tree swaying in the magical vibes of this place. 

 

Figure 3. Building where we did meditation a few mornings.

Tree connections were strong as I played in a tree net, on the hill side behind our lodging, high above in a tall tree. 

Monday, February 19, 2024, 10:30 a.m. The hike to the tree net was straight up the hill behind our rooms. Arrows pointed the way up concrete block stairs to a large tree. We took off our shoes and each climbed up the rope net structure into the tree top. The climb up was enveloped in netting with round foot and hand holds. At the top a large net spread from limb to limb. We were part of the tree. After pictures we took it all in, noticing the fruit at the end of the branches high above us where it reaches for the sun. Magan climbed higher onto a large branch. Later Keria did the same, using Mir as a step to get up. Andrea videotaped her going up and down. As they said, “Four cackling women cheered her on while Mir gave her structural support.” She gracefully fell off into Mir’s support coming back down. What a fun time!

 

Figure 4. Hanging in the tree nets. Photo by Mir.

As I sat by a waterfall above the tree net, my connection to trees soon moved to other plants. Smaller plants began to speak to me with their movements and vibrations: palms, ferns, moss, lichens, and vines. 

Monday, February 19, 2024, 2:40 p.m. I climbed up the narrow, boulder lined, dirt path that wound around and around and up the hill. It went past water barrels with long hoses running up the mountain. I hiked past the tree net and up to a small waterfall. A trickle of water seeped over the edge and down a rock into a small man-made pool lined with plastic. More hoses ran to the top, which is where our fresh drinking water originates. We can safely drink from the faucets. 

    A small green bench was built into a tree, so I sat there a while and observed all that was around me. I took a couple of selfies, but mostly I marveled at the tropical plants. A large tree was up higher, possibly another strangler fig. I found myself focusing more and more on the smaller plants, such as small palms growing in the shade of the larger trees, ferns, dracaena, philodendron-like plants, big and small leaves, grape leaves, and vines. Along the rocky waterfall were ferns and wet lichens that sparkled in the ever-present water droplets. I heard a rustle in the leaf litter across the trail and saw a small animal coming towards me. It looked very opossum-like. I snapped a couple pictures, but it ran before it was close enough to see. I think it was a white nosed coati - a close cousin to a raccoon. 

 

Figure 5. Selfie by waterfall.

Connecting to Water

It rained the first few days with waves of misty rain moving through the forest, living up to its cloud forest name. On day two water began to have even more meaning. Carrie was guiding us through the chakras each day, and day two was the sacral chakra, whose element is water. That day our excursion was to the Monteverde Cloud Forest Biological Preserve.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024, 12:53 p.m. Our guide was the son-in-law of a conservationist that was the inspiration for the book “Walking with Wolf.” He showed us the path that his father-in-law constructed over many years from the reserve to the Arenal volcano, still maintained by his family. I liked our guide’s pace, walking slow and stopping many times to look around. He showed us a giant walking stick insect, tarantula in a hole near the path, and hummingbird nests. After smelling an onion odor, I got a glimpse of a pig (peccary) in the understory eating fruit dropped by the spider monkeys that played high above our heads. The monkeys were red and bigger than I expected, at least from our view far below. There were many birders there looking for the quetzal bird. We saw three of the rare birds that people come from all over the world to find. Our guide got some great pictures of it, and other birds, through his powerful scope, including a dark colored jay and several gnatcatchers. 

Figure 6. Quetzal bird in Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve. Photo through scope by our guide.

    We stopped at one strangler fig, and he used a flashlight to shine into the middle where a group of small black bats were hanging and playing. He explained that strangler figs begin by sprouting in the treetops as epiphytes and dropping long stands to the ground to root and grow, growing around another tree and eventually killing it. Several trees bind and braid round each other to form a tall tree. When the “host victim” tree dies, there is a hollow center. 

    He pointed out several plant families, many similar to plants at home. Coffee plants (not the drink type) had opposite leaves and sharp stipules at the base of the leaves. A smaller tree was a type of stinging nettle relative. There were gum trees, mahogany, tree ferns, and schefflera. Ferns and epiphytes, algae and lichens and mosses, and bromeliads all covered the trees and ground. Whole ecosystems lived high in the treetops. There weren’t a lot of colorful flowering plants, though he did point out a two-lip flower and a lobster plant.

    The first part of the forest was about 40-year-old secondary growth, but most of the reserve is old growth forest. It was dark, deeply shaded, and very wet. It rained and misted the entire time. I even got to use my backpack rain cover for the first time. I tried to keep my camera, binoculars, and phone dry too, though I had to keep wiping water off the camera lens. Our guide used an air bulb to dry it off. I need one of those.

    This is another place you must see to appreciate. There is no way to explain it. The magic of the cloud forest enveloped me as I walked through. I was amazed. I was in awe. At the waterfall area I started to cry at the overwhelming beauty. A tall waterfall flowed down a deep crevice into a deep canyon below. Green plants of all types were everywhere. A very tall strangler fig stood behind a tall tree fern, delicate and majestic, the ancient matriarch of the forest. And then it was over. Three hours passed in the blink of an eye.

 

Figure 7. Waterfall at Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve.

Later that day, back at Finca Camino Nuevo, sunshine through the mist created the first of many rainbows we saw during the week. It rained all during our sacral water day and I ended it in the jacuzzi having fun playing with my new friends. Sherry turned on a jet that turned the hot tub into a violent pot of boiling water. I had to prop myself up out of the rolling water. We turned it off quickly but back on again each time a new person entered the water. All day I easily flowed from activity to activity, enjoying all the people and getting to know several better. 

 

Figure 8. Rainbow at Finca Camino Nuevo.

Connecting to Animals

About midweek I started to notice more animals in addition to the plants. Magan showed me a picture of a beautiful blue bird behind the meditation hut. As I walked up to the waterfall, I saw it showing off in the trees, almost posing for the perfect picture with its bright blue tail swinging like a cuckoo clock. At the waterfall the coati probably would have gotten very close if I didn’t get scared and move enough to frighten it away. 

 

Figure 9. Blue-crowned Motmot at Finca Camino Nuevo.

Later that night after yin yoga I drew a mouse card from a shaman’s deck. The mouse card said that I need a meaningful project and to always keep moving. Hummingbirds extended that prophecy the next morning when they started to call to me outside the yoga studio. 

Wednesday, February 21, 2024, 6:30 a.m. I hear them outside the window and see them feeding on the flowers. Inside the yoga studio a door is painted with a hummingbird or two arising from a native man's flute. His music and breath combine to form beautiful birds as they escape with the flute’s music. His head is full of morning-glory flowers where maybe they go to feed. An all-knowing eye and fire from distant volcanoes oversee it all. Why hummingbirds? They are tiny but powerful, not afraid to show their multicolored ever-changing feathers. They are busy yet have a meaningful project. They love flowers and match their beauty. They fight and play, and rest, yet are always aware and not afraid to live in this big world.

 

Figure 10. Door that inspired Rhonda during the retreat.

During Carrie’s morning pranayama I saw my inner mentor (I call her White Clover) dancing in a field of flowers. I cried as I danced with her and lived a moment of bliss that I’ve dreamt about my entire life. White Clover told me to keep traveling and doing my projects, that I’m on a good path with more to come. Later while reflecting on Carrie’s daily journal prompts, an idea for a new project came to me – paint with creativity. 

Wednesday, February 21, 2024, 3:37 p.m. I think it'd be helpful to take an art class, maybe a beginner retreat where we use easels in nature to express our creativity, not just recreate a landscape, but give it new life and meaning. Like the hummingbird door in our yoga studio, how can I bring the landscape to life, bringing out the Green Man and magic and mystery of a place? Can I express the feelings and vibrations as they are revealed to me? This is an exciting idea that I often envision in my future. I want to learn how to flow and groove a space into art.

The next day I drew a hummingbird card from the Mystical Shaman Oracle Deck. That shocked me, yet I knew it was meant to be. The Oracle Guidebook said the hummingbirds “invite me to embark on my epic quest, bypass old pain, head for the flowers, and learn to trust the calling I softly hear.”

Bridging Connections at Selvatura

Day three found me connecting with trees and other plants at Selvatura Park. 

Wednesday, February 21, 2024, 3:37 p.m. I hiked eight swinging bridges high above the cloud forest. I walked alone in the wet forest, along cobblestone paths through dense vegetation. On the bridges I looked through the metal floors and sides to see the forest all around me. Far below a river raged. At times I was at ground level and other times I was above the trees merging into the cloudy sky. Here and there flowers bloomed. It is a slower place. A place to connect with nature in a timeless way, to live on their time. I took a few pictures and videos but there is no way to capture the depth and breadth of the space. It is deep in the ground, high in the sky, and all space in between. 

    There is a mysterious, magical presence there. I felt it in the tree fern leaves. I heard it in the rubbing branches and birdsong. I smelled the fresh woodsy air as oxygen released from the plant surrounding me and filling my lungs. I heard it in the river below and small waterfalls along the path. I saw it in the smallest lichens growing on the branches along the bridge, high above the ground. I saw the Green Man with all his magic and mystery in a bulged-out burl-like tree trunk. He smiled at me through his ferny hair strands. Earth's vibrations led me through the space, yet somehow, I feel them even stronger now in my memories. I took pictures with my eyes and ears and nose and hands that burn into my brain for safekeeping. Those special memories are part of me, and that magic will stay with me. Who knows when or how it will be revealed in my future or maybe in a future project or a future generation.

 

Figure 11. Hanging bridge at Selvatura Park.

Soulful Sound Connections

The element of sound was alive and prominent Wednesday evening during the sound bath. 

Wednesday, February 21, 2024, 9:00 p.m. He had his sound bowls (one for each chakra) and other instruments in the center of the room with gentle lights and incense burning. We each gave one word for how we felt. I was calm. Then we stood arm in arm in a circle and looked into each other’s eyes. He had water in a sound bowl and showed us how the vibrations cause the water to ripple and “boil.” We have water in our bodies and brain too and it too moves with the sound’s vibrations. We all laid down with our heads towards the instruments on pillows and covered with a blanket. 

    The experience is hard to describe. I felt the vibrations in all parts of my body. One instrument caused negative emotions and feelings of worry, dread, and heaviness in my chest. He said to let negativity flow in case I needed to work through something causing it. So, I let it be and soon it changed. I saw eyes, animals, and many faces. An African man came quickly in and kissed me. A woman smiling and radiant looked like an older, happy me. I was briefly in a room with a tall ceiling. At times my body shook and twitched. Most times it was subtle, but some sounds caused more intense twitching or vibrations. I also saw death. I thought I was lying in a stone coffin. I saw dead people, then a friendly cat blinked into view. Incredible!

 

Figure 12. Sound healing session. Photo by Zach.

It was relaxing and peaceful, yet also frightening. Yes, this all happened with sound. There were no chemical enhancements, just the music and magic of the place. Later Sue told me that seeing death represents the parts of me dying that I no longer need. She says it is all good, and that the faces and death were telling me to let go. I think they told me to let go of control and the past, to be authentic and real in the here and now. I had similar feelings of letting go during a meta savasana on Thursday, when I let go of an old friend and excess empathy.

 

Connecting Deeper 

Thursday deepened what I was already feeling. I felt more renewal through water’s power during a Watsu water massage. Finca Camino Nuevo owners Keith and Lauren are both Watsu therapists. 

Thursday, February 22, 2024, 12:51 p.m. Keith moved my body in the water while keeping my nose above water. My ears and sometimes parts of an eye were underwater. I tried to relax while he massaged and pushed and pulled and worked my various muscles, all while doing a sort of water dance. At first, I kept my eyes opened and I saw a hummingbird and brightly colored flowers, patches of sun, and the pool’s shade cloth flapping in the breeze. Again, I saw a face while my eyes were closed. Sue says faces are a sign I'm connecting to one or more of my inner spirits.

 

Figure 13. Pool at Finca Camino Nuevo.

That day I saw many more animals. I played in the tree nets with my new tribe and later alone, both times while observing a big and loud chachalaca bird (Crested guan?) in the trees. A squirrel cuckoo bird with a black and white blocky tail jumped around in the trees outside the lunchroom. That night we went on a night hike to see animals in the cloud forest. I was a little nervous being in the jungle at night, but our guide was very knowledgeable and knew what to look for. That night we saw frightening pit viper snakes in various sizes, miniature frogs, big tarantulas, and I felt like a jaguar was watching us. I also saw peaceful animals such as headlight beetles, blue crowned motmot, emerald toucanet, pale billed woodpecker, three wattled bellbird, and a mottled owl.  

 

Figure 14. Three-wattled Bellbird on night hike. Taken through scope by guide.

Night fear, especially of animals, is something I experience often, yet I now know the animals were not trying to scare me. Pixie Lighthorse said during our recent book study session that animals can also protect us. We need to find our animal spirit so that it can help guide us through the fears. Every night during this retreat (and often in other locations, including home), I experienced a severe sense of dread and impending doom that something was wrong. I purposely disconnected from technology and that was good, yet at night the disconnect left me scared and filled with excess empathy that a loved one was hurt or injured or worse. Pixie says our spirit animal can help with that unfounded fear, and I’m hoping that one of the deepest lessons this retreat gave me was how to let go of night fear and excess empathy. 

Connecting with Perci and the Forest

On our last full day, I finally let go and was free in the forest. 

Rhonda Climbing Perci. Photo by Zach.

Friday, February 23, 2024, 1:37 p.m. I climbed Perci! She welcomed me into her arms, sending me little foot and hand holds and encouraging me to keep going so that I could see her view of the cloud forest. She wanted me to see what she sees. My toes clung to the small parts of her. I used my arm strength and leg power to climb higher and higher. Zach gave me small boosts along the way serving as my belayer. I did two climbs. The first was harder. It wrapped around the tree. I rested several times to get my breath and look for the next hand and foot holds. Two thirds of the way up I had to unhook the upper rope so that I could climb higher. From there I hugged Perci and thanked her for gifting me this experience. Then I let go and Zach let me down. I hung in the air and felt free. Free to be me. Free to explore these wondrous places with these people. Free to absorb the energy of the forest in this magical place. 

  

Figure 15. Rhonda climbing Perci. Photos by Morgan Neufeld Photography.

    I rested a bit to stop the leg and arm shake, then went again. This time I climbed the red rope, with Raffi belaying. This was easier and I relaxed better into my harness and quickly climbed the first three-quarters of the way up, then it got trickier. But I persevered, like Perci’s name, and soon was at the top of that climb. I had Morgan and Magan take my picture to show how high I was. Then I repelled back down, giggling and laughing all the way. Playing like a child in a tall tree is life changing. I see how it could get addictive. Maybe Perci draws us to her. She seemed to embrace and soothe us yet challenge us to do and be more. 

    After the climb we all walked to the river to play more and cool down in the fresh clean water. We walked through the private, organic family farm of coffee and banana where Perci is located. Zach pointed out a black persimmon tree fruit. Morgan had us smell the big catalpa-like leaves with anise odor. I saw what looked like a vanilla vine growing up a tree. There were pepper plants here and there. Morgan had us put on natural lipstick from the achiote fruit seeds. We saw white faced monkeys in the trees. I got a glimpse of an animal with a long snout, maybe a tamandua. At the creek I zipped off my pant legs and soaked in the cool water. It felt good on my dirty, climbing feet, though we didn't have enough time there. The water rushed quickly over big boulders, rushing quickly between openings and into larger pools. Magan and Sasha swam across with Morgan. I sat and enjoyed the view and sensual cleansing of the mountain stream. A tall rock wall was on one side and tall trees and plants were everywhere. High above a bird soared. The air smelled clean and full of healing energy. I could taste the fresh air on my tongue and feel the smooth rocks and cool water. Mostly my soul soared like the bird, and I got the feeling - the one I get in nature sometimes - that moment of bliss when I know I belong and am one with all that is around me. I'm immersed into, and merged with, the spirit of the place.  

Connecting Through Play

Friday, February 23, 2024, 9:08 p.m. Wow! What an amazing, life changing experience. I feel free, light, young, happy, connected, and alive. Tonight was our closing cacao ceremony. We all brought things for the altar in the center and sat in a circle around it. I added plant parts to the communal offering: 

1. Purple flower mouse’s tail that the hummingbirds fed on outside the yoga studio while telling me to go on a quest without fear. 

2. Resurrection fern that taught me to look down to see the forest floor and know that my soul’s wild self is waking up. 

3. Palm frond that helped me look up instead of always focusing on trees, living open and free. 

4. Fig fruit from the tree net trees representing play and fun. 

    Zach gave a little info on cacao - its ceremonial properties and historical importance. It has calming, happy effects, though our group was already giggly and energetic. Zach also lit some incense and a smudge stick. After a moment of silence, we sipped our drink then one by one went around the circle to reveal our secret mission, give our word of the week, and then everyone said one word to describe us. I didn't do the mission. I mostly forgot but it was a hard one to find out everyone's pets names. My word was play. They described me as bad-ass, inspirational, very cool, intelligent, silent energy, and blooming. They were good descriptions. Afterwards we danced for a long time then partnered up. Sherry and I put hands on each other's hearts, looked into each other's eyes, and repeated phrases Carrie said. It was lovely and we had a long hug afterwards. We ended in a meditation to a song. Several people were emotional. We were raw and connected. 

 

Final Connections

I finally saw a monkey on the last day. Magan saw them all week, and though I saw a glimpse of a spider monkey at the reserve, the white-faced monkeys that lived above us all week eluded me. On my way to our final morning yoga, Magan was waving frantically at me to come to her and look above the buildings. We were in our morning quiet time, so she couldn’t tell me what was happening. I figured it out quickly and saw the white faces moving in the trees above. One stopped to stare at us, it's white face shining in the morning light; and we laughed, breaking the morning silence with glee to match the monkey’s call overhead. 

Carrie and Zach’s retreats are truly Bigger Life Adventures where they combine daily yoga with adventure, self-reflection, and new connections. We meditated every morning at 6:00 a.m. while observing our agreed upon quiet time. Most days we had an energizing morning yoga and a slow, yin evening yoga. In between Zach and his helper Selena, served us the most amazing vegan food. There is no way to describe Zach’s food creations, they must be experienced. I even ate bananas, which I have hated ever since a baby, yet Zach somehow added them without the strong taste that I detest. I can’t wait for his new cookbook later this year. 

Between morning and evening yoga sessions, we had excursions, free time, and classes where we learned about yoga philosophy and ayurveda. One afternoon, I did a photo shoot with Morgan Photography. I wore my yoga clothes and she had me pose in monstera leaves, twirl around on the path, and hang out in the tree net. It was fun. She said I looked great, and her pictures are remarkable. I certainly don't feel 60. Instead, I have the energy and ambition of the woman that I am meant to be in this stage of life.

  

Figure 16. Photo shoot during yoga retreat by Morgan Neufeld Photography.

I spent many hours sitting on my room’s balcony writing and reading while watching the ever-changing landscape ebb and flow in front of me. 

Monday, February 19, 2024, 2:40 p.m. Wow! This view is amazing from the balcony. For a moment the clouds or mist dissipated, and I could see the Gulf of Nicoya. At first, I thought it was low hanging clouds, but binoculars proved different period now it is gone, and I see curtains of rain moving across the trees. It is pouring rain, and the sun is out. I saw a glimpse of a rainbow then it was gone. Later, and most evenings, a large rainbow came out, often double or triple rainbows in brilliant, fluorescent hues.

 

Friday, February 23, 2024, 1:37 p.m. It's a perfect sunny day with a slight breeze. The view goes on and on across layer after layer of forest, all the way to the Gulf of Nicoya. It is hazy far away. Some layers are bright green, other shadowy black, others gray and hazy, here and there a green clearing appears on the hillside or on top of a crest. Closer trees have various shades and hues of green and occasional branches showing through the foliage. 

 

Figure 17. View from Rhonda's room of the Gulf of Nicoya.

Through this retreat - and a morning yoga exercise - my new mantra going forth is “My tribes and nature build my creative and blissful soul.”  The “Doors to my Wild Self” opened wide during this retreat as I connected to nature, to other yogis, and to myself – body, mind, and soul. As I left, I vowed to continue the light playful spirit I found as I pursue new and bigger connections in the future. 

Note: Bigger Life Adventures is booking future retreats in Costa Rica and other locations now. They fill fast so reserve your space today and you too can have a life changing experience.